Your doing what Tomorrow?

I went out with my cousin before Christmas because I was tired of going out in my town. What I really mean is I'm looking to "date" people in other cities.

Dave lives in a different city So I thought it was a perfect opportunity to meet new people.

 I met the best group of girls through Dave, they are truly sweethearts. I also met Dude there.

 The first thing that caught my eye about this guy he was wearing Kswiss. I haven't seen anyone wearing Kswiss since 1998.

This is our first conversation:

Me: Nice Kswiss
Him: YA? I like Kswiss
Me: I haven't seen anyone wear those since 1998, are you wearing Polo and Tommy too?
Him: ......
His Friends: BWHAAAAAA Dude she got you. (BTW one of his friends looked like Chris Brown)
Him: What's your name?
Me: My name is don't think your eyes are prettier then mine because they are not.
Him: .......
Me: YA so I'm gonna go.
Him: Can I get your number?
Me: Sure.

 So we texted for a couple of days, he asked me if I wanted to go on date I said sure. Pretty classic first date dinner bowling watched a movie in his car. He did have a pretty sweet car. Kiss at the front door, all romantical and shit.

 Did I mention this was 2 weeks before Christmas? Because this a crucial part of the story.

So one day we were texting about nothing really day to day shit. When I ask If he wanted Santa to bring him anything for Christmas. I thought it was an innocent question. Turns out that is not what you ask a guy that you've only been on one date with because he will think you are crazy and trying to buy him things. I didn't even buy my own father something for Christmas....why the fuck would I buy this dude something. YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL.

  I didn't find this out until later (thank you Chris Brown for explaining that to me).

 The week goes on we decide to hang out again on a Friday night in his hometown. He calls me at 5pm Friday actually it was a text because people can't call anyone anymore. He said his daughter is sick and he can't go out tonight. Fair enough.

I call up cousin Dave say hey whats the hap's tonight...ya all be down there soon. We go to the same place where I met dude at. Having a fucking blasty blast!! In walks Dude with Chris Brown.

2 HOURS pass finally he comes over to me. Because I am not the one to go to some dude and say I thought  your daughter was sick? He can dig his own grave which he did.
 The first words out of his mouth were I bet you don't think my daughter is sick. Dude I didn't say a word, but obviously you needed to get that off your chest. I just said its not my call to say she is or not. So we hashed shit out became best buds drank was merry. UNTIL it was time to head home, He drove me back to my cousins house. In the 30 minuets we were in the car, this is what happened.

 Him: I can't do this.
Me: Do what?
Him: Date you.
Me: OK..why?
Him: Because If we are already fighting then I can't do this.
Me: we are fighting?
Him: Yes
SILENCE for about 10.
he pulls up to my cousins house.
Me: So I guess this is it huh?
Him: YA I'm taking my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow AND FORGETING YOU EVER EXISTED. Now get the fuck outta my car.


(wow that's harsh)



All becuase I asked him what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas.

Even If I was Sober.

 Most of my friends are married or in committed serious relationships. I however am not. It's not like I don't want to be in one, It just hasn't happened yet.  Here is a story from one of my many adventures in dating...or hook ups.

Three Friday's ago I went to my friends 30th birthday party at his clubhouse (not like a clubhouse you build when your ten, an actually clubhouse for a grown man fraternity)..With all married couples..I have accepted this as part of my life. What I cannot accept is  my friend introducing me to his friends as the "single one". AWESOME. 

 Anyways so the night goes on after awhile another friend shows up with his roommate. A fine specimen of chocolate that as soon as I see him I knew he was going to be my Friday night dessert. It was the moment when you look at the person the exact time they are looking at you, and you both know that this night is going to end up well for both of you. 

 He sat not right by me but close enough to where he was apart of my conversation. My friends knew what was going on I kept getting texts that read "he likes you" "your totally gonna do him" because we are 18 and immature not 30 and classy. 

 He got up to leave with my friend who brought him and I immediately blurted out "Can I have your number" I was not sly at all and said this in front of everyone. But needless to say I got it. 

 So the party winds down we hit up the bar down the street, He's there we chop it up for a second, he gets the waitress' number. Which doesn't detour  me from keeping my eye on the prize. 

 We head to his place, he "just moved in" and only has a air mattress. we totally do it (again because I'm classy) and then roll over and both fall asleep at 11am I wake up like wtf. look over and see him still asleep. I tried to do the stealth get the fuck out move, but we were on a air mattress so as soon as I got half way off the bed he sprang up and was awake. FUCK. Then the awkward morning chit chat. Then he says you snore. AMAZING. 

  I cant open the door to save my life, I'm trying to leave without my friend seeing me I am successful with that part. He wasn't even home. So Chocolate helps me open the door says good bye with the standard Ill text you line, I try not to look anyone in the eye as I do my walk of shame from his apartment to my car which is on the other side of the complex.

 I didn't really expect to hear from him again. No biggie I fucked him within hours of meeting me. I get it. But then he TEXTED me. 

 He wanted to hang out and watch a movie at his house.. I'm not 17 I know what "watch a movie" really is. Just say you wanna pork again and be an adult about it, no need to sugar coat shit. And he keeps asking for pictures like I'm going to change sorry dude. 

 So we made plans to actually go to the movies he used the just to let you know i don't have allot of money..Well why are you asking me out then? 

 we do go out though with  one of my girl friends and his roommate which is actually my friend from high school. It was a cool kind of double date. We went back to their house drank some more My friends disappeared somewhere up stairs so it was me and chocolate alone downstairs where he wanted to do freaky shit because it was daring and someone might catch us...I'm all down for some weird shit but only in a bedroom with a locked door. So we go up stairs to air mattress heaven. And we totally do it again. 

  And then after he says..."I'd do you sober" 

       Thanks for the compliment..........